Because settling isn’t the same as being satisfied.
From the outside, everything looked great.
The job paid well. The relationship was stable. The house was beautiful. I had what so many people dream of—and I knew it.
So why did I still feel restless? Why did I keep wondering, “Is this it?”
Like so many women, I was raised to be grateful. To say thank you, smile politely, and never take more than my share. And when I started questioning parts of my life that no longer felt aligned, that old voice kicked in:
You should be grateful for what you have.
Some people would kill for this.
Don’t be selfish.
But here’s the thing—gratitude and desire can coexist. You can appreciate where you are and crave something more. You can honor what something gave you and still admit it’s no longer right for you. Outgrowing a job, a relationship, a version of yourself… doesn’t make you ungrateful.
It makes you honest.
Gratitude and Longing Can Coexist
You can be grateful for your paycheck—and still want a job with better pay, more flexibility, or real fulfillment.
You can be thankful for the roof over your head—and still dream about the farmhouse with the wraparound porch.
You can love your partner for who they are—and still feel the ache of emotional distance or misalignment.
Gratitude doesn’t mean you have to settle. It doesn’t mean you stop dreaming, stop growing, or stop wanting something different.
You’re allowed to hold both: appreciation for what is, and desire for what could be.
One doesn’t cancel out the other. In fact, it’s often gratitude that gives you the strength to want more—not out of lack, but because you finally believe you’re worthy of it.
“It’s Not That Bad” Can Still Be Misaligned
One of the most common reasons women stay stuck is because what they have isn't bad.
The job’s fine.
The relationship’s not abusive.
The home is comfortable.
The schedule is manageable.
And so we convince ourselves to stay.
“Other people have it worse.”
“I shouldn’t complain.”
“This is just part of being an adult.”
But “not bad” isn’t the same as right.
You don’t have to wait for something to become unbearable to make a change.
You don’t have to burn your life down just to rebuild it.
You’re allowed to outgrow something without resenting it.
You can love something for what it gave you—and still leave it behind when it no longer fits.
Other People Will Project Their Fear Onto You
Sometimes the voices holding you back aren’t just in your head—they’re in your circle.
- “Are you sure you want to leave a stable job?”
- “But your partner seems so great!”
- “You should just be happy—you’ve got more than most.”
They might mean well. But often, what they’re really doing is projecting their own fear.
Your growth threatens their comfort.
Your choices force them to look at their own.
Your expansion makes them question what they’ve settled for.
So instead of cheering you on, they nudge you back into the box they’re used to seeing you in.
But you don’t have to stay small to keep other people comfortable.
The right people won’t be threatened by your growth.
They’ll be inspired by it.
Gratitude Isn’t a Muzzle
When we silence ourselves in the name of gratitude, we miss out on our next chapter.
We stop saying what we really want.
We stop admitting what’s no longer working.
We stop trusting the whisper in our gut that says, this isn’t it.
You can be grateful for the things that once sustained you—and still know when it’s time to move on.
Gratitude isn’t a muzzle.
It’s not meant to quiet your dreams.
It’s meant to remind you how strong you are—and how much you’re capable of creating next.
You’re Not Ungrateful—You’re Ready
This is where a lot of women get stuck.
We confuse our readiness for something new with being ungrateful for what we have.
But being ready for more doesn’t make you selfish.
It makes you honest.
It makes you brave.
It makes you awake.
You’re allowed to say:
- “This was beautiful—and it’s complete.”
- “I’ve loved this—but I’m evolving.”
- “This chapter taught me so much—but I’m ready to write a new one.”
That doesn’t make you ungrateful.
It makes you free.
Gratitude Can Be Your Launchpad
Here’s the reframe that changed everything for me:
Gratitude doesn’t have to be the thing that holds you in place.
It can be the very thing that helps you
rise.
When you’re grateful, you operate from a place of trust instead of fear.
You see your strengths more clearly.
You believe in your ability to create something new.
Gratitude says:
- “I’m proud of what I’ve built.”
- “I trust myself to build again.”
- “I’m allowed to want more—not because I’m ungrateful, but because I believe in what’s possible.”
That’s when life starts to expand.
So if you’re holding back because you feel like wanting more makes you selfish or spoiled or ungrateful… let me be the one to tell you:
You’re not broken.
You’re not greedy.
And you’re definitely not alone.
Gratitude and desire are not enemies.
They can live together.
In fact, when they do? That’s where the magic happens.
Because from a foundation of gratitude, you can build
anything.
Need support as you figure out what “more” looks like for you?
I help women reconnect with what they really want—beyond the pressure to perform or pretend everything is fine. If you’re ready to stop settling and start building something that truly fits,
book a free discovery session. Let’s figure out what your “more” looks like—and go after it together.
