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For years, networking was my personal nightmare. 

Small talk? Torture. 

Walking into a room full of strangers? Pure dread. 

I’d clutch my drink like a lifeline, avoiding eye contact, hoping someone (anyone!) would save me with a conversation. Spoiler alert: they didn’t. I’d leave events feeling like I’d wasted my time and energy. Sound familiar?

But here’s the thing: I needed to fix this. 

My business depended on it. I needed connections, advice, and a crew of brilliant business owners I could “talk shop” with. It wasn’t about collecting business cards or hunting down leads—it was about building real, meaningful relationships. 

So, I made it my mission to stop lurking by the snack table and start owning the room. 

And guess what? It worked.

Here’s how I went from a networking wallflower to someone who (gasp!) actually enjoys it.

Networking Isn’t About Leads; It’s About Relationships

Let me be clear: if you’re walking into an event thinking, “Who here can give me business?” you’ve already lost. 

One of my biggest “aha” moments was realizing that networking is about relationships, not transactions. 

Think of it as business development—not the awkward kind where you’re just selling yourself, but the kind where you’re building a community of people you trust (and who trust you).

Networking done right isn’t just for you—it’s for your clients, your colleagues, and even your sanity. It’s like planting seeds in a garden; you won’t see results overnight, but when the connections bloom, they’re worth the wait.

Four Steps to Networking Like a Pro (Without Feeling Like a Weirdo)

These are the steps that took me from “Ugh, do I have to go?” to “What time does the event start?” (Yes, I’m that person now.)

1. Go in with a Plan

Walking into an event without a plan is like grocery shopping when you’re starving—you’ll wander aimlessly and leave with things you don’t need (or worse, nothing at all). I always set a goal before an event. 

For example, at a 30-person gathering, I aim to walk away with at least five meaningful conversations. No fluff. No “weather talk.” This goal keeps me focused and forces me to engage intentionally.

2. Speak First

This one was hard for me. I used to wait for someone else to make the first move, which usually meant I spent most of the event talking to the caterer. Now, I walk in, smile (like I mean it), and introduce myself to the first person or group I see. 

If I catch a group mid-conversation, I’ll jump in with, “What are we talking about over here? Something good, I hope!” It’s an easy icebreaker, and it works. Bonus: it gets less terrifying with practice.

3. Follow Up—Like a Boss

If you’re not following up, what’s the point? I keep a running list of the people I meet, along with notes about our conversations. The next morning, I connect with them on LinkedIn (pro tip: mention the event and something specific you talked about). 

It’s a simple gesture, but it keeps you top of mind and sets the foundation for a real relationship. No ghosting allowed.

4. Shift the Focus

The real game-changer? Making it about them. Instead of thinking, “What can I get out of this?” I ask myself, “How can I help this person?”  

Maybe I know someone they should meet, or I’ve got a tip that could help their business. When you focus on serving others, you build trust—and trust is the foundation of every great relationship.

Why Networking Matters (Yes, Even if You Hate It)

Still not sold? Let me hit you with some stats:

  • 85% of jobs are filled through networking. (Forbes)
  • Professionals who actively network are 58% more likely to succeed in their roles. (Harvard Business Review)
  • 70% of people landed their current job through a connection in their network. (LinkedIn)

Translation: Networking isn’t optional—it’s essential. And the good news? It doesn’t have to be painful.

Final Thoughts (and a Pep Talk)

If the thought of networking still makes you want to hide under your desk, I get it. But trust me: it gets easier. 

Start small, set goals , and focus on building genuine connections. And remember—it’s not about being perfect; it’s about showing up, making progress, and putting yourself out there.

So, next time you’re at a networking event, don’t hover by the coffee station. Take a deep breath, channel your inner boss , and dive in.

Worst-case scenario? You meet someone who also hates small talk. 

Best case? You walk away with a new connection that changes your career.

Your turn: What’s your biggest networking challenge, and how have you tackled it? Share your tips in the comments—I can’t wait to hear them!

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